What Now?
I am often asked what to do when someone dies. This is what I have gathered over the years…
Breathe
Drink Water
Give yourself time to sort through the business of their affairs. It is daunting and, like construction, it never begins or ends when you hope it will. It is a process and will take time.
Stuff is Stuff. Don’t lose otherwise good people over money or things. You may think it’s important, but after a death has occurred is the second best time to remember what is really important - People. Support. Kindness. Love.
The first best time is now.
Take a break when needed
Find your village, let them take care of you
Tell your village to go away when you need some space. Good village people will do so, but will also be ready to jump when called, will leave broth anonymously at your door, and quietly pay your bills when you are locked in your bedroom.
Look for ways to feel the truth, inevitability, and beauty of the circle of life
Remember a circle is never final except in its wholeness
Participate in some sort of ritual or ceremony to give your emotions, and your community’s, somewhere to go
Talk to the person that died, and about them, and ask others to do the same. You change the narrative from a person that has been lost to a person found.
