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Over the years I have identified as Catholic, Atheist, Agnostic, Spiritual-but-not-religious and even WooWoo. I have also been honored to assist in the death rites of faiths not my own and was always drawn to the rituals rooted in culture.
Although the article below explains how I have come to be an Orisa devotee, I am still as I ever was, awed by the way different faiths harness the power of the Creator and pass on stories that teach wisdom. I do not think one thing is the RIGHT THING, but I think you can find the right thing for you. This is the story of how I found my way to where I am meant to be. Ase!
I am one that answers the internal call, and it has led me to many uncommon places, including committing my life to death care. My life is dedicated to educating my community on topics related to death, dying and grief - and often, culture and faith is a part of that discussion.
I was raised by two very Catholic parents, and attended Catholic school from 1st to 8th grade. We attended church every weekend and I was actively involved; I was both a Eucharistic Minister and acolyte, working funerals from the age of 12.
While I appreciated the ritual of mass and the community of the church, as an adult I started to move away from Catholicism. I continued to attend mass on occasion and considered myself an expert on Catholic funerals, but as people would talk about the strength of their faith and want me to agree, I spent a lot of time smiling and nodding.
I am a product of my environment, and we Xennial Californians are often “spiritual but not religious”. You know – the crystals and the tarot cards, sound healing and the Secret. If our parents had a culture we left it behind for something more singular, but often our parents did not.
I was satisfied taking the parts of what I wanted to believe and leaving the rest. I often spoke about the Universe and I still very seriously say and believe that the Force is with me. But I started to miss ritual and community. I have always appreciated participating in cultural-based funerals; living in the Bay Area there was always a Buddhist or Sikh service that I was assisting with and it was those ceremonies that drew me in the most.
Being half Italian, it would have made sense for me to eventually return to the Catholic Church but every time I tried, I decided it wasn’t the best fit. I still appreciate Mass and I still consider myself an ancillary part of the community, but it isn’t how I want to practice a faith.
While my mother is able to trace her Italian roots back many many generations, it stands to reason it is harder on my father’s side. With that said, I don’t think I’ve seen a photo of my grandmother’s parents, and I don’t remember her speaking about them at all. My paternal grandfather passed before I was born, so there was no information for me there. Not knowing much about my father’s roots, I was lacking a connection to wherever he and my paternal family had come from.
In 2020, when everyone was trying to center themselves in the middle of an upside-down world, I decided to take an Ancestry.com test.
Turns out, my father is primarily Nigerian. There are other things, but that is the biggest piece of his genetic pie. I had been flailing to find some part of Africa to feel connected to and suddenly I felt rooted in West Africa.
Us California Xennials know a little bit about a lot, so I had heard of the Orisa. You have too, because Beyoncé. Both “Lemonade” and “Black Is King” reference Orisa – African deities from the Yoruba Culture. When our Ancestors were brought here against their will, they didn’t just lose their home and their family, they were forced to abandon their entire way of life, including their faith. Many slaves that were made to venerate Catholic Saints use syncretism to correlate their Orisa to the Saints that shared similar themes. As the years went by, their children became accustomed to the religions of the west and over time, lost the connection to the Yoruba culture, our Creator, Olodumare and our support Orisas.
Once I found out we were Nigerian, I was determined to learn more. A chance encounter with an Ileke, sacred beads worn as a necklace in the Yoruba culture, brought me to the School of Orisa Studies and the instructor/Babalawo that founded the school.
I am approaching one year in the school and I have learned so much about a concept that felt foreign to me for over 40 years, even though it is a part of my DNA. The Yoruba love proverbs and there is one that says ‘no matter how far a river flows, it never forgets its source’. While it was forgotten on the surface, generation after generation, it was never fully forgotten – I knew it was for me as soon as I found it.
On August 12th of this year, I committed myself to the tradition and received my Ifa name, Jokotifa Alaye. It means to Sit with Ifa, as I was called to do, and Owner of Life - as I have things to do! To say that name is to celebrate who we are as Black Americans of the Diaspora and where we have come from. It also is a call to activate my natural gifts and talents and to remind you to do the same. What are you here to do? Who are you here to inspire? How are you going to make the world a better place and how will you be remembered when you die? Jokotifa Alaye is working on the answers to those questions daily, and I know my father’s family is so grateful I answered the call.