Can I Get a Light?

Bo Burnham’s new special INSIDE is an exercise in schadenfreude. We watch him age a dozen years (or act as if) as he spends one year alone in his apartment creating a Netflix special. I am obsessed, addicted to his heart-wrenching, catchy plea for prayers.

Over the last several years watching him grow up on screen, I have found Bo to be wiser than his years. He puts his mental health on display; a gift of vulnerability, perhaps true, perhaps an act, but a gift nonetheless. 

It feels rare for a man to broach the topic of mental health in a way that suggests that they may, sometimes, have problems. In INSIDE, he cries. It appears scripted but the sentiment is there, you suppose he did cry a time or two in 2020. As I am writing this, my son is leaving the rec center with tears in his eyes - I certainly hope he too can thrive as a sensitive white male comedian or otherwise. 

I specify white because Bo is very, but is attempting to do the work the Black community is asking for. He is a white man going public with his messy attempt at hearing black voices and making a change. He makes it a joke, because that is what he does, but I feel the sincerity and applaud him for trying. 

In the song Comedy he ask the question - is a white man doing comedy really what the world needs right now? It’s not like he is a first responder, and he has not given up all his money to live a life completely in service to others. Is this right? Is one more comedy special in times like these #toosoon?

He poses an interesting question but it is answered by the shows creation, release and popularity; should we be joking at a time like this?…yes please. 

Last year, I needed comedy. Probably not to survive and it wasn’t going to stop my house from burning down - but it did bolster my mood and probably my immune system as a result. If there wasn’t humor, I wasn’t watching it. It is pleasurable to laugh, and I am grateful for those who give me the gift of laughter.

Bo is good at his job. He was given the gift of being smart and funny, plus an ear to produce hooks that catch - and has put his gift to good use. It seems like it has been difficult for him, and I hope he is at peace with his talent and its burdens, but no doubt our lives are better for having him in them. 

What initially draws people to INSIDE is that it attempts polish the turd of 2020, and most of us can find something that resonates. Depression, sadness, grief, longing, despair, it’s all in there and I would hazard a guess than anyone who had even a remotely good year (me, if I am honest) still felt one or all of these things. He is taking a shitty situation and shitty feelings, putting them through the pressure cooker of his brain and look what we get! Content worthy of Emmy nominations and songs on repeat. 

What draws us subconsciously is our need to bear witness to someone living out their Dharma, shining their light, even when it is hard. 

I would like to challenge all of us to try something similar, but please don’t make the mistake of thinking anyone needs to know your name, or whatever you do has to be big. What you have to give doesn’t need to make you famous, it just needs to make the world brighter. 

I have a question for you - what are you good at? What do you do in your life where you say - yes, that’s it, that’s the talent I was given? 

It could be as simple as baking or coordinating or listening or sweeping. It may not make you rich and it may not get any applause; it also might not be your day job…but it makes a difference. 

I think of these talents as our light in the darkness. The thing we hold up and say here, this is how I show up and contribute; this is the light that I am supposed to bring to the world. 

I have this gut feeling that if we are not purposeful about shining these lights high moving in to the future, they are in danger of being extinguished. 

It’s a slog, y’all. Sometimes it feels too hard, and there is no bandwidth. Sometimes it requires the motivation or discipline that we just don’t have. Sometimes, frankly, we are too depressed to hold our lights up, let alone our heads. 

It is easy to let grief slow you down, drag you in to the mud and hold you there. I do not suggest everyone power through their grief or that it is even possible to do so. I simply ask the question - what if? What if, in these low points, we reached for the thing we are good at, that brings us that soul-satisfaction I hope you have felt at least once in your life, and what if that was the hand that got us up. 

I know that is easier said than done, but I am rooting for you. I want to look up and see your light shining! Your light makes my world brighter and I hope I can do the same for you. I hope we all want that for each other. 

At the pinnacle of his special, Bo appears to be the most vulnerable with us and asks for prayers; and whether or not that was an actual ask, I do. 

Not by name, I don’t ask for God’s intercession in Bo’s life; rather I find myself praying for all of us; the world at large. Those of us out here doing our best, or trying. 

I pray for all of us trying to make changes, make art, make a difference. 

It should be messy and real. We shouldn’t expect to get directly from point A to point B, that trajectory isn’t real. What is real is that in using our gift, it is a gift to others. Isn’t that beautiful?

Our best doesn’t come from a lack of challenge; our best happens because we are challenged. I pray that you find the strength you need to meet your challenges with grace, and that you are courageous enough to share your light, especially if you feel like what you have to offer isn’t worth much. 

It’s worth everything, and may just be what the world needs.